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the way of wonder
getting into gladrags
off the body
and onto the wall
couleur couleurs
following fancy
now! this! here!
links
aroha Awaroa Aotearoa
This oceanic feeling of wonder is the common source of religious mysticism,
of pure science and art for art's sake.
Arthur Koestler
song of Rangitoto
I can do very well without God, both in my life and my painting, but I cannot, ill as
I am, do without something which is greater than I, which is my life – the power
to create.
Vincent Van Gogh
kahu and cowries
I have been thinking the whole of my life that I would demystify the universe.
But what has happened is just the contrary. The deeper I went into
existence, the more the mystery deepened. I am dying full of wonder, I
am dying in wonder.
Albert Einstein's last words
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'Zum Erstaunen bin ich da'
I am here to wonder
Goethe
These pages are being written to express my gratitude to the many
friends and benefactors who have graced my life.
They are an attempt to say thank you with something that traces the path they helped me walk – the
via creativa.
The way that the flowering of questions held in a heart determines the
life-path of the questioner has always interested me. On my own creative
path (thus far) there seem to have been five broad
'chapters' - as presented in the pages here - and I was curious to identify the questions that put the
creative fire beneath each passage. What was I wondering about? And what
was filling me with wonder?
It's now clear to me that curiosity and wonderment act like automatic invitations to the great mystery we call Creation.
(Their presence doesn't guarantee it'll show up, but if it does, they'll be there for sure.)
I, as 'maker', function as its instrument; my hands are its 'hands', my questioning mind is the catalyst for its expression.
I wasn't born with this wisdom. Its ripening was slow and sometimes magical, gracious.
More often it was appallingly challenging. Perhaps my story will help make it easier for others to accept and walk
their via creativa. I hope so.
For decades I sought 'the artist within' and the source of 'my creativity'.
I worried about my lack of formal art education. I worked at healing my
'creative spirit'.
I researched everything I could find written about the phenomenon we call creativity - what fosters it, what blocks it,
what it IS.
And for decades I was puzzled by the ineffable state that bloomed when – somehow –
'I-as-artist' disappeared and something wholly mysterious seemed to
flow in with results that would amaze and humble me.
What was going on?
I watched this carefully and rather warily - trying not to jump to conclusions grasped from outside my own experience.
It was like chewing on a rubbery gob-stopping life-koan that couldn't be swallowed or spat out:
if I wasn't making the decisions involved in a work, what was?
When ripeness was ripe the puzzle resolved itself in its own way. What happened?
I woke up to the obvious, like waking up after a weird dream: within
full sensory immersion in the now-moment there is no awareness of a
separate self. There is just creative intelligence in action, sensing,
assessing, making. Not 'my' creativity (although it seems we must speak
of it that way). Not 'not-mine', either. Resolving this riddle had nothing to do with any effort on my part.
On the contrary: I learned early-on that mental scrutiny ensured the absence of the mystery.
Over time, my wonderings quite naturally focused more and more on simply being
present,
simply resting there and resisting the reflex to move into analysis and speculation.
This was a real challenge for me because I have one of those brains that functions equally
effectively in analytical
and intuitive modes, swinging seamlessly from one to the other. Yet while it seemed that analytical activities
were necessary to generate energy for the task, there came a point when they had to subside and leave space
for something else to enter. And they don't simply subside on cue!
We are expertly trained in reflexive analysis and speculation, which usually results in our following
tracks already laid down by others. We conform. We want to be accepted, to gain approval.
The creative questions that are unique to our field of experience and predisposition are buried, silent.
The immeasurable and indefinable movement of creativity remains impotent.
Mind that is free to court the creative questions which Life itself provides is natural mind.
Why aren't we steered towards this free, unconditioned mind?
Why does our education fail to encourage us to unearth the questions that really matter to us?
Should that not be the primary concern of our educators?
Questions like these laid out my path as an artisan and an educator.
wonder births questions
questions birth creativity
creativity births wonderment:
circles and spirals
electrons and galaxies
how can I say
where I begin and end?
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